Jim Bessey, the founder of SoWriters Writing Group,
suggested members respond to a Monday Madness prompt: What's ticking you off? In his defense, maybe he didn't know the time
and space it could take to keep track of what's ticking me off. But, here's a teeny weeny start.
Top Ten Things Ticking Me Off Today
- HOUSEWORK should be ignored until you run out of clean
unders. But, this theory has its flaws. Like waking up early Monday morning,
opening dishwasher, fetching favorite cup, placing it on coffeemaker to see
slimy spaghetti sauce floaties bobbing in my coffee. Crap. Who didn't start the
dishwasher? Then, taking a shower, reaching for a clean towel . . . Whoops!
Someone didn't do laundry. Does this mean I am supposed to help my
husband more with housework? I take time
to write 'dust me' on the end table heading back to the office where I still
have a straight path to my desk.
- WRITERS with overblown egos who need constant attention by
forcing their imaginary, self-professed, life-changing stories and/or mediocre
accomplishments on to a mostly give-a-crap audience. Reminds me of potty training. Look! I went
pee-pee in my potty! Well, good for you. That is something no one has ever done! Oh, junior, you're unbelievably gifted! Live in a
fairy tale or face reality. Your choice. Here's the deal: Back in the day I
learned the hard way you can't please everyone. Stop trying. My philosophy
pretty much works. Your friends and relatives accept you and love you, the rest
of the world? F'em if they can't take a joke.
For real. As far as writing is concerned, any writer can improve, every writer who wants
to improve should consider suggestions and feedback, writers who cannot handle
constructive criticism need to grow up or end up selling their books to a
following of relatives. No, I am no better than any other writer-just older and
wiserJ. Don't be the high school kid who takes it
personally when he gets his essay back.
OMG Ms. E, all these red marks might as well be my blood dripping on the
paper! No, criticism is not
personal. So don't take it personally. Or
you could seem a bit insecure, immature and such.
Constantly in the spotlight, it is a puzzle why these people
are newsworthy. Courtney, Kim Kardashian, Kris Jenner. (Getty Images)
- KARDASHIANS. Especially Kim and the one who used to be married to that basketball guy. No, not Kim's former husband basketball guy. That other basketball guy. And Kayne West fits into my #8 things that tick me off.
- CLUELESS PARENTS who drag their little kids to Walmart at midnight then scream and threaten to hit them for fussing and crying. Maybe there should be an IQ or common sense test in order to reproduce.
- NFL, PRESS, FANS, RAY RICE. Really? We all knew the details. He knocks out girl, drags her from elevator. Gets hands slapped. Meh. THEN the video surfaces and he finally gets punished. Why is it NOW and not THEN people got so outraged? Did they think he accidentally bumped into her head with his fist? Use your imagination. Put the words together with a mental image. Viola! That's what domestic abuse looks like. Stop the ignorance. Once you become an adult, you shouldn't need pictures to understand words.
- OPEN CARRY. I'm all for gun rights for hunters and protecting your home BUT the 'right' to carry rifles into grocery stores or playgrounds is too crazy. Reading about protests from open carry supporters who need to show people they have big guns, I'm thinkin' they should leave Kroger's and head for a city like Oakland, CA. Stroll around in the flat lands. See how quickly some of these jokers change their minds about open carry 'rights' when it applies to large groups of minorities in an urban setting instead of hillbillies in the middle of nowhere.
Obviously, these Open Carry Texas members hope the
big guns make up for their shortcomings.:-) They need
these weapons at Chipotle because you never know when
a rabid rhino could storm into the restaurant. (photo courtesy of
Open Carry Texas) - POLITICIANS lurking in every corner is the price to pay for living in Iowa, some politician's mug continuously shows up on local TV ads, in the news, on the street, in my nightmares (big-headed politicians act like flying monkeys in Wizard of Oz swooping in to take a PBJ sammich out of a toddler's hands, while his sister throws more coal into the old stove). STOP! How about we quit cowering to wealthy bullies? Maybe ban political ads? Fact checks for each candidate? Electric shocks? Lie detector tests? Nose grows longer every time they lie?
- AN ASS IS AN ASS IS AN ASS. Wasn't it Will Shakespeare who once wrote 'A rose by any other name would smell as sweet'? Or Gertrude Stein who penned, 'A rose is a rose is a rose.' Still true. It does not matter if someone is a movie star, a famous athlete, a well-known politician, a beauty queen or a cashier. A profession is not an excuse to be a jerk. Money doesn't make you better than anyone else. A rotten disposition, a big ego, ugliness-none of it makes it okay to mistreat, bully, tease, put down, or be a jerk to any person minding her own business. Bullies often pick on smaller, vulnerable, innocent victims because they lack the kahunas to take on anyone else. Meanies. Jerks. Bullies. The lowlife who dumped urine on the autistic kid. Ray Rice. Bill O'Reilly. Mark Driscoll. Call them what you wish but the fact remains. An ass is an ass.
- MIRRORS. It's difficult to use the restroom and wash hands without seeing that strange reflection in the mirror. Who the hell is that? Strange that I think I am younger, skinnier and better looking than the gray hair and saggy eyes staring back at me. Of course, that's when I might seek the comfort of eating something fattening.
- FAKERS. Not the faking orgasm kind (probably N/A) but the fakers like fake Christians who promote hate, can't get their hands on enough money, judge others instead of looking in
- the mirror, consider women second class citizens, and mostly ignore the words of Jesus-yes, even those who talk to God through seashells on the beach or on their iPhones or Rick Perry and his direct hot line to God. Especially those. It's like the old cliché . It's easy to talk the talk but when it is time to walk the walk, fakers run and hide in the closet. (pun intended) Thus, the word 'hypocrite' was invented.
Blame Jim. Or Blame Obama. Seems to be the thing to do for every problem in the universe.
. . . 11. People who complain just because I signed them up for FB groups and stuff.
