In the 1980s, girls were supposed to wear pink frilly
dresses. Not Andy. She pulled on baseball pants and a team
T-shirt. The stereotype of women as delicate was fading in some parts of the
country. In the Midwest it gave the old ladies gossip material. Playing
baseball instead of softball was rebellious enough for a girl.
Pretty sure her first coach gave her a chance because she
kept asking until he finally gave in. The
boys booed her and teased her. Initially, they did not accept her. When the coach moved her up in the lineup, a
few boys resented her while others decided to support what was best for the
team.
By the end of that summer, her male teammates asked for her advice on hitting. She ended up batting cleanup and playing first based because she was the only one able to catch the ball. That was the 5-year-old Andy.
Grandpa Bud and Andy SR Day
Shawn knew if her mind was set on playing baseball, then she'd play baseball. No matter how hard it was, she was too stubborn to give up. One day I heard them yelling in the backyard. "Don’t hit it so hard. It really hurts if it hits my leg."
By the end of that summer, her male teammates asked for her advice on hitting. She ended up batting cleanup and playing first based because she was the only one able to catch the ball. That was the 5-year-old Andy.
Grandpa Bud and Andy SR Day
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| Amy, Andy, Shawn |
Shawn knew if her mind was set on playing baseball, then she'd play baseball. No matter how hard it was, she was too stubborn to give up. One day I heard them yelling in the backyard. "Don’t hit it so hard. It really hurts if it hits my leg."
Shawn told her to catch the ball in her glove and it wouldn't hit her leg.
“Do you wanna play and be good at it or not?” They kept practicing.
That's Andy. Her stubbornness/independence helped her
overcome obstacles all of her life. Even after parents and coaches told her
girls couldn't play on baseball teams, kindergarten Andy wouldn't take no for
an answer.
Andy knew if she wanted to play any sports after high school, softball would be the way to do it. In high school she collected MVP awards and was chosen for the All-star team. She played on 2 state tournament teams. Whenever she could, it seemed like she had a ball in her hand.
We went to so many games in KY and all over the country, we often did the poor man's guide to cheap travel. That means 1 room and a cooler. Surprisingly, The Holiday Inn was our hotel of choice. We tried a few others,
but the Holiday Inn had large rooms. More room for sleeping bags.
Free breakfast. Nice pool and bar and Saturday night prime rib
for $9.99.
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| Scratch |
We had another big reason for choosing that brand. One Saturday we
rolled into the parking lot around 5 AM. I wanted to find out check in time so I could
come back and shower between games. The manager happened to be standing at the
desk. He asked me why we were in Lexington, how far we had driven, etc.
This is the amazing part. He said if they had an open room
and we were gonna book it for Saturday night, we might as well be comfortable
and check in. We hit the jackpot! For 80 bucks we stayed in a nice room from
early Saturday morning until checkout at noon on Sunday. That wasn’t the best
part of hotel life. Good times. We did have some good times.
Sometimes Andy got to spend the night with us. That’s when
she and her brother could get a bit silly. When we were arguing over who
was sleeping where, they came up with the Fat and Skinny Rule. A bed could hold
2 fats or 3 skinnies and other variations. They made up the rules and got crazier
as they went.
They figured out who was a fat or a skinny, nothing
in between. They spent some time figuring out bed
etiquette. There could be 2 skinnies and 1 fat in a bed, 2 fats and 1 skinny, 4 skinnies if they liked
to cuddle. If people had too much alcohol during the trip, they needed to be
in the bed closest to the bathroom.
If a person disliked their bed arrangements,
they got the floor. All guests were required to use the toilet before crawling into their
spot. Just like it is with little ones, “You have to try to go anyway."
Seniors Andy, Jen, Sandi, Beth and Angie
We did make exceptions for the one room rule. For special people. When my dad went to Lexington for Senior Day, he deserved a room away from party central. That was a big
Five seniors were on that team. They played together all 4
years. They keep in touch with several players getting together someplace every
year. Life-time friends. Andy played at
UK when the team was new, so their record didn’t reflect their hard work. The SEC started sponsoring softball in 1997.
I’m proud she was part of the foundation of building the program. These days the Wildcats can compete with any team in the
nation.
From tire buddies to running out of gas and getting lost, we
had fun on all those trips. We did have a fairly strict route. Stopping in Leroy, IL (I think) was a
requirement. We’d hit up the truck stop and shove in quarters to play Deer
Hunter. The bathrooms reeked of urine but they did have arcade games, and
another bonus- the bathrooms offered cheap perfume and scented condoms in vending machines. Classy truckstop.
Those softball years created so many memories. We have
stacks of photos, old-school video tapes. And, several T-shirts to look back on those special times. Doug sometimes did a ride along. When the crew was just Doug, Shawn and I, we
had some odd experiences. Not ghost or
UFO odd. Shawn and Doug odd. With interstates between destinations, I still have no idea how the car ended up on gravel roads somewhere in Indiana and -although the big boys wouldn't admit it, we were lost.
If you enjoy storytelling, ask Shawn to tell
you about the poop towel. They both had
some freaky times in Lexington. If watching tornadoes and softball is your thing, head to KY. One game night offered a double bonus. Andy hit a home run AND Doug saw a funnel cloud all in the same game.
On one trip I made the mistake of complaining about a rule. I said it didn't seem fair to punish the whole team for one person's mistake. The entire team had to be at the field at 5:30 AM picking rocks from the warning track because one girl broke a rule.
That was a big mistake. Andy got defensive fast. Of course the whole team did the punishment! We support each other and take care of each other. When (girl's name) was late that's on all of us. We knew she had that problem. We should have set up phone calls or have a team member pick her up. A team is like a family. We solve problems together. So today we all picked rocks because one person broke the rule. I'm sure a few players weren't happy and talked to (insert name here) and encouraged her to be on time and work on good habits. Having most of the team's unselfish support was great but the few disgusted players had just as much of an impact. But, all of us were there. She delivered those words with complete loyalty to her team. That day I realized she stepped up to the next level of adulthood. She was one her own. Made her own decisions. No longer needed my advice. It was an odd feeling.
On one trip I made the mistake of complaining about a rule. I said it didn't seem fair to punish the whole team for one person's mistake. The entire team had to be at the field at 5:30 AM picking rocks from the warning track because one girl broke a rule.
That was a big mistake. Andy got defensive fast. Of course the whole team did the punishment! We support each other and take care of each other. When (girl's name) was late that's on all of us. We knew she had that problem. We should have set up phone calls or have a team member pick her up. A team is like a family. We solve problems together. So today we all picked rocks because one person broke the rule. I'm sure a few players weren't happy and talked to (insert name here) and encouraged her to be on time and work on good habits. Having most of the team's unselfish support was great but the few disgusted players had just as much of an impact. But, all of us were there. She delivered those words with complete loyalty to her team. That day I realized she stepped up to the next level of adulthood. She was one her own. Made her own decisions. No longer needed my advice. It was an odd feeling.
I know a mother and daughter bond is never broken. But our
relationship changed that day. She was committed to another group. She settled in to her own life.
I didn't want to hold her back. But, I didn’t want to let her go. I wanted to grab her and hold on tight. She was my youngest so I felt a sense of loss. Empty nest and such, I suppose. I felt like the cheesy quotes on Hallmark cards or lyrics from a country song. Time goes too fast. One minute I was fixing a skinned knee and the next minute we're having margaritas at the bar.
I didn't want to hold her back. But, I didn’t want to let her go. I wanted to grab her and hold on tight. She was my youngest so I felt a sense of loss. Empty nest and such, I suppose. I felt like the cheesy quotes on Hallmark cards or lyrics from a country song. Time goes too fast. One minute I was fixing a skinned knee and the next minute we're having margaritas at the bar.
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| Anna and Andy + teammates |
Anna struggled her first year, couldn't gain weight, and seemed extra fussy. After hospital visits and many doctors, she was diagnosed with a rare disorder, Kabuki Syndrome. Although it's difficult to diagnose Most doctors agreed. It's a lifetime disorder with sharp differences in severity.
When doctors put a feeding tube in her tummy, she could no longer go to her day care. So Andy moved back to Iowa to take care of her.
Her digestive problems continued. Some days Anna would throw up so often, they seemed to constantly change clothes. Andy taught her some basic signs. She was a fast learner. She could ask
for food and a drink and knew a few more
words. Andy helped her learn to walk and
shared some milestones with Anna.
When Anna was well enough, Andy returned to work. She
started as a guard in the Federal Building and worked her way up to Captain.
She traveled the tri-state area teaching classes and conducting field
training. She had a huge responsibility.
Loved it and hated it. Too many hours. Way too many hours.
I felt really bad for her when she missed Grandpa Bud’s
funeral in SD. Recovering from surgery, she wasn’t well enough to travel. While she was still on leave for her surgery, she called one night and asked me to take her to the emergency room. I thought it was related to surgery. Nope. Far from it.
She said she was having the worst headache of her life. She also vomited several times. I helped guide her to the car. Her vision was messed up as well as her sense of balance. On the way to the hospital she yelled and told me not to go so fast. I was driving the speed limit. She felt dizzy. She thought the car was spinning around and headed for the ditch. When we got out of the car, she seemed disoriented. If I didn’t know better I’d guess she was drunk.
She said she was having the worst headache of her life. She also vomited several times. I helped guide her to the car. Her vision was messed up as well as her sense of balance. On the way to the hospital she yelled and told me not to go so fast. I was driving the speed limit. She felt dizzy. She thought the car was spinning around and headed for the ditch. When we got out of the car, she seemed disoriented. If I didn’t know better I’d guess she was drunk.
Nobody said what caused the extreme headache. They didn't give her any idea of what was going on. It seemed strange they didn't do any tests of her head and neck.
Before she checked out, the PA talked to the doctor about scanning her head just to make sure her headache didn't originate in the brain. The doctor agreed. So, on a last minute hunch by a PA, Andy had an MRI. After that night her life would change forever. Life for our family and anyone close to Andy would never be the same again.
After the neurologist and other doctors looked over the tests, he ordered 2 more. Before midnight, Dr Biag came back into the room and slid the door shut. We aren't sure what type of tumor we're dealing with. But it appears it's increased in size at quite a rapid rate. It's going to need to be removed anyway. So, I'd recommend doing it right away to make sure it doesn't cause a seizure or another unbearable headache. Andy made the decision to do surgery sooner that later.
She asked for her clothes and was anxious to get home to think about what was happening. The nurse came back to tell her she was being admitted. If the doctor can clear it and a room was available he planned on brain surgery tomorrow. Tomorrow. No time to think it through and get used to the idea of having a tumor in her brain. She was in great condition, always exercised and tried to eat right. Why would she have a tumor?
When he started explaining the procedure and said she'd be awake, I had to leave or break down in a crying fit. I knew Andy would not want that. Her brother and step father were there to discuss the surgery and ask questions. Andy wasn't but her body language suggested she might be scared.
Before they wheeled her off I squeezed her hand and told her I loved her.
After they wheeled her away for surgery, that was it for me. A hundred different questions went through my
head. I heard Shawn’s voice but I
couldn’t follow what he was saying. When
we went to the waiting room, he explained details Dr Baig shared. I heard him say she would be awake . . .
that’s all I wanted to hear.
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| Andy rings the bell after her treatments are complete. |
Weeks later, a pathologist at Mayo Clinic sent the report to Dr. Biag. Andy’s tumor is an oligoastrocytoma located in the left
temporal lobe of the brain. It is a
mixed glioma. A glioma is a tumor formed
from glial cells. It is known as an oligodendioglioma tumor. It is slow growing. An astrocytoma is more aggressive. Andy’s tumor is a mixture. 
